Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. 70 sounds old, but when I look at you, I still see a lot of youth in you. Wish you a memorable day and an adventurous year, Happy birthday. God bless you. -Jensen Ackles, Texas is like Australia with the handbrake off. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first pretty self-explanatory! Even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while.Anytime you happen to pass my house, Id sure appreciate it.What did you do with the money your mama gave you for singing lessons?Were you raised in a barn?Put that in your pipe and smoke it.Even the chickens under the porch know that.You smell like you want to be left alone.Go peddle your own produce.Go cork your pistol.If you break your leg, dont come running to me.Whatever greases your wagon. So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. 125 Best Texas Quotes and Texas Instagram Captions 2023 I got treated very badly in Texas. If youre headed to Texas, check out my guide to visiting the San Antonio Missions,the Houston Space Center, and Mustang Island. -Stephen F. Austin, I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world. Texas Birthday Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2022 Congratulations, and may life keeps smiling at you as it has been up to now. Happy 70th birthday! Wishing you a lot of surprises and happiness on your 65th Birthday. Hey'It's your 60th birthday!' Its especially important to get travel insurance if youll be hanging out in cities like Dallas or San Antonio where tourists can easily become the targets of pickpockets. Look what the cat dragged in.Companys coming; add a cup of water to the soup.Weve howdied but we havent shook.Put on your sitting britches.Lets chaw the rag. 30 Birthday Quotes To Celebrate Your Friends and Loved Ones Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age. In three days no one could stand him. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. When compared with all the other happy birthday quotes, this one is especially unique. Leave them blank to get signed up. 1. - George Burns's funny birthday quote. And we Texans know how to take it all in stride! 190 Happy Birthday Wishes for Friends, Family, and Everyone In Between He broke his arm patting himself on the back.He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.Id like to buy him for what hes worth and sell him for what he thinks hell bring.Shes so spoiled salt couldnt save her.Shes so spoiled she expects spoon-feeding. "Moscow mules and sweet tea.". Happy birthday, best friend. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. Preaching to the choir.Burning daylight.Arguing with a wooden Indian.Whistling up the wind.Hollering down a well. See more ideas about birthday greetings, birthday, greetings. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! Here are some of our favorite Texas quotes, Texas Instagram captions, and Lone Star sayings to make you fall deeper in love with Texas! I like it here in Austin. The 60 Best Happy Birthday To Sister Quotes from Heart; Happy Birthday To Cousin; Love Quotes for Him; The 60 Romantic Cute Love Quotes For Her from Heart. "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. But what the hell? As the old saying goes. Have a blast! On my birthday, I wished for a friend like you. It's a better use of salt. "You May All Go to Hell and I Will Go to Texas" Davy Crockett This quote truly epitomizes the spirit of Texas. But, few visitors know how to use it correctly. A day that's filled with happiness. Sam Houston. My current favorite is thePacsafe Citysafe, which is especially great for Texas because it has many anti-theft features designed to deter pickpockets in Texas cities. What do they tell us about America? 3. 4. If you grab enough Texas land, somethin' good is bound to happen. Did we forget any popular Texas idioms and sayings? Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. AnUnlockedCell Phoneso that you can use a local sim card while here to help navigate public transportation and when youre on the road. - Unknown. March 2, 2011. How much we love you so. The Ultimate Texas Brand Bracket Is Down to Its Elite Eight, Ford or Chevy? -Sam Houston, Thats the thing about East Texas. Happy Birthday, Texas! | The Daytripper Explore the Lone Star State with Enchanting Texas Travel Blog. Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. I thought it was a joke. Sweet friend, may the joy you bring to others find you as you celebrate your birthday. Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Were still figuring out how to spell tolerance. I'm so glad you never act your agelet's have some fun tonight! Texas has various symbols such as the Bluebonnet (state flower), the Northern Mockingbird (state bird), and the horned lizard (state reptile). You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. I will pray that you receive more than you have hoped for this birthday. Some sayings are instantly familiar because our parents or grandparents quoted them; others parallel the indisputable wisdom of biblical proverbs or Poor Richards Almanac; plenty just make us laugh. - The US death toll from . -Doc Holliday, When a lady accessorizes in here in Texas, shes selecting caliber, not color. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. The best land & best prospects for health I ever saw is here, and I do believe it is a fortune to any man to come here. The general store, the hat: the line between the myth of Texas and the reality of Texas is razor-thin. Manny Fernandez, Read next: Romantic Weekend Getaways in Texas, Texas does not, like any other region, simply have indigenous dishes. I like the image Texas brings to mind-that of bigness, of strength, of goodness. "Birthdays are good for you. Im madder than a wet hen! 1. May your birthday overflow with downy teddy bears, the comfiest blankets and the loveliest cake ever. Honestly, there are so many funny sayings about Texas that you would get sore as a boil after reading them all. 0 ; Copy Count your age by friends, not years. Anybody got a room? -Keith Richards, People dont live in Austin to work, they work to live there. -Robert Rodriguez, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen." - Jim Gaffigan, comedian "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, author, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. So I got a cake." - Mitch Hedberg, comedian Funny 60th Birthday Quotes To Make You Laugh - Darling Quote Texas is a cult. Lindsay Mcelwee, I Like The Image Texas Brings To Mindthat Of Bigness, Of Strength, Of Goodness. Ninfa Laurenzo, The enemy never sees the backs of my Texans! General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Texas history is a varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. They call her radio station because anyone can pick her up, especially at night.Hes wilder than a peach orchard boar.Loose as ashes in the wind.Loose as a bucket of soot.Wilder than an acre of snakes.She uses her sheet for a tablecloth.He was born on the wrong side of the blanket.Shes found a new dasher for her churn.They ate supper before they said grace.They planted their crop before they built their fence.Theyre hitched but not churched.Theyve got a cotton-patch license. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. She is part of the Holy Trinity of Trading Post Maximization: Exusiai, Texas, and Lappland. Waco: American Apocalypse Doesnt Even Try. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. She also released several albums during the period 2003-08. In three days, no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. The day you were born was the best day of my life. No hill for a stepper.Slick as a whistle.Easy as pie. Red dirt never quite washes out, and pine pollen is tenacious as original sin. Dream to touch the skies. A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle. It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! I was going to get you a present, but I figured my presence was enough of a gift. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog unwelcome. Kelly Clarkson 0 Copy Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. Anything that large and inspiring is bound to have a few haters, right? Happy birthday to someone who's wonderful in every way. More pills but more thrills. If that aint a fact, Gods a possum. Now on to the dark side you will also find several Texas quotes mocking the state and its icons. What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get . He's yellow as mustard but without the bite. 3. Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. Happy Birthday To Me Quotes. Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, stepped out at his annual Mack, Jack & McConaughey Gala alongside their son Levi. Texas is Texas -Senator William Blakley, You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas Davy Crockett, Texas will again lift its head and stand among the nations. Image Credit. "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. 10. "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why." William Barclay Purpose "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody." George Burns (at 100 years) Respect "You were born an original. Texas history for $200, Alex. Above all, Texasis a nation in every sense of the word. 1. But did you know that there are many other famous quotes about Texas and sayings that make perfect captions for social media posts or Instagram stories? Jennifer Yane. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. 150 Birthday Quotes and Sayings | Keep Inspiring Me This ain't my first rodeo. -Pete Hamill, Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. May your birthday be as sweet as you are special. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. hapy birthday happy birthday. I pay forWorld Nomads,and I happily recommend them. Texas Sayings and Texas Quotes | Wise Sayings 75 Best Birthday Quotes - Happy Birthday Wishes & Messages - Woman's Day If you do use one, Id love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work! 3. All cut up like a boardinghouse pit.Grinning like a mule eating cockleburs.Nervous as a pregnant jenny.Nervous as a fly in the glue pot.Nervous as a woodshed waiter.Shes chewing her bit. Texas is a cult. "For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday." John Glenn "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never remembers her age." Robert Frost "When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. We report on vital issues from politics to education and are the indispensable authority on the Texas scene, covering everything from music to cultural events with insightful recommendations. Hes got a hitch in his gitalong.Sick as a dog passing peach pits.All stove up.Im so sick Id have to get better to die.Sore as a boil.Her hoppers busted.As full of pains as an old window.Ive got the green apple nasties.He looks like death warmed over.So sick he needs two beds.Pitiful as a three-legged dog. Wayne Chirisa. -Cherie Priest, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. You are such a sweetheart babe! AUSONIUS There is a world of country to settle. when youre very mad. -Senator William Blakley, Ill be somewhere down in Texas if youre lookin for me. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. Dreams are the only things that give you reasons to push yourself ahead. "There's no better place than Texas to start over." - John Connelly. Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. The 50 Funniest Birthday Quotes - Curated Quotes Hes such a liar hed beat you senseless and tell God you fell off a horse.He was born sorry.Hes so low hed steal the widows ax.Hed steal his mamas egg money.Hed steal the flowers off his grandmas grave.Hed steal the nickels off a dead mans eyes.No-account fellow.Bitter as gall.Tough as nickel steak.Tough as stewed skunk.Tough as whang.Mean as a mama wasp.Friendly as a bramble bush.She makes a hornet look cuddly.A she-bear in satin.Rough as a cob.He looks like a sheep-killing dog.He lies like a tombstone.He wouldnt scratch his own mamas fleas.Hes got horns holding up his halo.Were not on borrowing terms.Youre so low you have to look up to see hell.Hes so low you couldnt put a rug under him.He jumped on me with all four feet.A real revolving son of a bitch. Happy Birthday For Him Happy Birthday Greetings Birthday Greeting Cards Birthday Gifts Birthday Messages Birthday Images Happy Birthday Harley Davidson Texas Independence Day Bday Quotes David Courtney, a.k.a. He could talk the legs off a chair. Birthdays are a time to celebrate, reflect on the year, and make future wishes for the year to come. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. One time she wrote about sports. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. That Texas pride really shines through in these quotes. "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". 500 matching entries found. Today you are you! Lauren Larson is a former features writer and editor. I love you so much, honey. Happy 60th Birthday. On this special day, I just want to let you know that I want to be like you when I turn 70. Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. 1. Wishing you a texas sized birthday. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. "Inside every older person is a younger personwondering what the hell happened.". The sky is the limit for you. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof. 80+ Inspirational Birthday Quotes : Motivate and Celebrate These funny birthday quotes will put a smile on your face. )Jugging and jawing.Commode-hugging, knee-walking drunk. Here are some of the uniquely Texan sayings not for the faint at heart! 150 Best Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes - Parade All over the world, traveling Texans tend to identify as Texan rather than American, because, well, we get treated like celebrities when we do. ~Elizabeth Abrahamsen, A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner. John Steinbeck, Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. -Red Adair, Screw you, were from Texas. ~Ray Wylie Hubbard, Id rather be a fencepost in Texas, than the king of Tennessee. Chris Wall, No place like Texas would I ever roam. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. Texas Stock Photos . honest. A version of this article appears in our 2019. -Texas Department of Transportation, If you grab enough Texas land, somethin good is bound to happen. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. Here go some of our favorite Texas sayings. Dumb as a box of rocks. Sweeter than stolen honey.Sweeter than babys breath.Sweeter than an old maids dream.He took to you like a hog to persimmons.He took to you like a fish to water.Happy as a boardinghouse pup.Happy as a clam at high tide.Happy as a hog in mud.Safe as Grannys snuffbox.Fair to middling.Pert as a cricket.Soft as a two-minute egg.All wool and a yard wide.Im cooking on a front burner today.If I felt any better, Id drop my harp plumb through the cloud.If I felt any better, Id think it was a setup.Fat and sassy.All sweetness and light.This is so good itll make childbirth a pleasure.Fine as frog fur.Fine as dollar cotton.Fine as boomtown silk.Fine as cream gravy.The porch light is always burning.Long as I got a biscuit, you got half. Your advancement in years is a progression into the plans and purpose of God for you. May you continue to live this life, blessed and a blessing to others. (Say what? Austin, Texas is the subject of many popular quotes, sayings, and slogans! -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. Famous People From Texas & Celebs Born In Texas. He jumped on me like a duck on a June bug.He jumped on me like white on rice.He can blow out the lamp and jump into bed before it gets dark.He gets there in one-half less than no time.Quick out of the chute.Fast as greased lightning.Fast as small-town gossip.Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind.Faster than a scalded cat.Faster than double-struck lightning.Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.Going like a house afire.Hell-bent for leather.Any faster and hed catch up to yesterday.In a New York minute. ". He could draw a pat hand from a stacked deck.He always draws the best bull.Hes riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels.He could sit on the fence and the birds would feed him. "You Can Imagine Me as a Kid Growing up in Redneck Texas with Ballet Shoes, Tucking the Violin under My Arm. 4. Backup Charging Bankfor your cell phone since youll be using it as a camera, GPS system, and general travel genie. -James Michener, I like the image Texas brings to mindthat of bigness, of strength, of goodness. -John Steinbeck, Dont mess with Texas. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they'd never seen one and neither had I. I'm from Texas originally, and I've always wanted to be in a horror movie, so I've gotten both of my wishes with this project.
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