Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. See production, box office & company info. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Hes outclassed by Charlize Theron, who shows off her comedy chops in a surprisingly big way and generally seems to be enjoying herself. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Albert: I'm not the hero. George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . Like. Anna: Yeah, well, I'll go with you. No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more than to let her see you with another girl. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. Albert is attracted to her, initially, by her beauty, but realizes she's the courage and confidence he has always hungered for. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. September 9, 2014 As a fan of Seth MacFarlane's series Family Guy and his feature film debut Ted, it's a shame to report that if you've seen the trailers for his new western comedy A . I suck at dancing. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. The American West, 1880s. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. 27 May 2014 R. 1h 56m. [leaves]. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. Opens Friday at major . Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . These are full loads. Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and The American West, 1880s. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Rotten Tomatoes Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. 1:31. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition] by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. At a recent press conference held in Los . WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Copyright 2023 Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. . The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. Web. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. . permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. As . The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. All rights reserved. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. All rights reserved. Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. MacFarlane's 'Million Ways To Die In The West' Is An Assault Of - NPR If You've Only Got a Moustache. Copyright 2023 A Million Ways to Die in the West goes south: review But I got great tits. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. But some men were just big giant pussies. Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. To order One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? I suck at sheep. CookiePolicy Old Stump Bluegrass . For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. Listen to "A Million Ways to Die" below and let us know what you think. Albert: No, no, no, no! with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. Apple Inc. Amick Byram. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. A Million Ways to Die in the West. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. In Seth MacFarlanes A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the films best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny Mustache Song., I do always feel like everything that I do should have some sort of musical component, MacFarlane told EW. The Best Quotes From 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' - Ranker Anna and Albert. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 17+. Edward: Yeah. 10 Funniest Quotes From A Million Ways To Die In The West Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - IMDb Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. It just makes it that much funnier. Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. I never see him. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights. Filming began on May 6, 2013, in various locations in New Mexico including Alburquerque and Santa Fe, and it concluded on August 9 that year. Offers may be subject to change without notice. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". And if they dont work the first time, hell try and try again. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song' rights reserved. 10 Funniest Quotes From A Million Ways To Die In The West And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? One Cameo In A Million Ways To Die In The West Was Even A Surprise To Albert: I know. By creating an account, you agree to the to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump.